In a feeble attempt to reacquire the hearts of otherwise comotose Brit fans, Miss Britney Spears opted to film a confessional expose on the inexcapable crises we’ve all had the pleasure of witnessing over the last couple years. Whether by choice or not, tabloids, local news channels and radio have made it nearly impossible to avoid the dramatic intricasies of Britney’s “personal life challenges.”
From artificial English accents to head-shaving, Provigil to fishnets, rehab to custody battles and paparazi courtships to divorce, we’ve just about witnessed what we can only hope to be the worst of Britney’s war against pop-ism.
The MTV sponsored “documentary” followed Britney Spears for three months in 2008, with interviews about her motives, feelings and why she’s acted so outrageously. She seemed to brush over details and focus on putting on a facade that might win the hearts (and album sales) of those that have lost faith in her character. Who is Britney anyways?
The documentary, promoted as a “tell-all documentary” following the life of Britney for three months, consisted of dance rehearsals, makeup sessions, shopping sprees and “heartfelt” interviews with the director. She’s got it rough, eh? As was advertized, we were all hoping for a documentary explaining the cause of Britney’s woeful existence within the last few years.
For The Record took a stab at baring and sharing all, yet answered very few of the questions we’ve all been asking.
Why is she making this documentary?
“I wanted to make this film because I started to feel like I wasn’t being seen in the light that I wanted to be seen in. I’m not sure what light that is exactly. This is an opportunity to set the record straight and talk about what I’ve been through and where I’m headed,” Britney said.
Why the relationships with Paparazi, Adnan? Why the constant alterations to her identity? Why the prolonged English accent that was claimed to be genuine? Why the spontaneous vegas wedding to a childhood friend? Why didn’t she care about her children? Why? Why? and more Whys.
What did we learn?
- That Brit has two new fragrances coming out this December
- Can still lipsync, gets all of her clothes for free and wants her dance routine to look like Janet’s. Great.
- Britney breast fed; a little sidenote to divert the interviewers questions
- She thinks she’s smart (and that everyone shaves their heads)
- Her breakup with Justin sparked the downward spiral ( 6 years ago)
- She’s lost and can’t take responsibility for her actions (Blame it on the break-up, Brit)
Britney came accross as lost and trapped within the confines of fame but the documentary didn’t even succeed in making us feel bad for her trials and tribulations…why? Because it didn’t tell us anything about them, except that her predictably erratic behavior was just a “rebellious” phase.
All in all, MTV produced a great infomercial for Britney’s new album entitled Circus and to be quite frank, I will continue to believe her life really is one.
The End. Or is it…